Aeris's Wild Flight
by CloudS1
Summary: Chap.3 is finally up! YES!!! PLEASE R&R!!!
1. The Fight

Aeris's Wild Flight **__**

Aeris's Wild Flight

Somebody asked for a sequel…well HERE IT IS!!! A SEQUEL TO _AERIS'S WILD RIDE"…AERIS'S WILD FLIGHT!!!_ Enjoy!

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(We find our heroes in Cloud's villa today. Things have gotten a little strange since Aeris's driving lesson with Cloud. Aeris has gotten a new fascination with controlling anything with a motor.)

Aeris: Please, Cloud! Just one little ride with me? Please??? **(bats her eyes)**

Cloud: After what happened last time?! NO WAY!!! You nearly killed me that day!

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Aeris: Well…I'm sorry if I was a little rough on you that night while you were playing "hard to get."

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Cloud: **(sweatdrops)** I'm not talking about…THAT…Aeris… I'm talking about your driving lesson!!! That's the first time I've seen you act berserk!!!

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Aeris: Oh…well…that was then, this is now! Please go on just one more ride with me?

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Cloud: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!! **(walks into his room, but then comes back out) **Oh yeah…almost forgot to tell you something, Aeris…

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Aeris: (smiles) Yeeeeeeees?

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Cloud: RAPE IS A BAD THING, AERIS!!! IT'S A VERY BAD THING!!! **(runs into his room and locks the door)**

Aeris: (pouts, but then remembers about the Highwind and decides to pull a fast one on Cid, then gets a wide grin)

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(We find Cid outside the villa…well…more like outside Costa de Sol, fixing the Highwind from recent shocks)

Cid: DAMN $^%#!!! HOW COULD A ^@(*&^%# BUG GET ON MY %*^%# WINDSHIELD!!! HOW THE HELL COULD IT GET INSIDE, THEN SMASH INTO MY ^)*&^$# WINDSHIELD!!!! IT'S JUST PLAIN SICK!!! NOT ONLY SICK, BUT ^)(*&^$#)(*&$ SICK!!!!! **(wipes squashed moth off the Highwind's windshield while muttering streams of curses)**

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Aeris: (quietly sneaks onto the Highwind and grabs a lead pipe while grinning)

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Pilot #1: (stands next to Cid) Sir! It's break time Captain!

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Pilot #2: (stands behind Pilot #1) That's right! We're tired and hungry!

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Cid: (looks at Pilot #1 & #2) EAT S**T AND DIE, YOU %^)&^)&^$!!!!

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Pilot #1 & #2: YES SIR, CAPTAIN! **(leave the cockpit)**

Cid: (watches them leave and raises an eyebrow) …stupid b*****ds… **(keeps cleaning)**

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Aeris: (hears the pilots walking her way) OH CRUD!!! Where can I hide??? Where can I hide???? Ah yes…there we go…** (hides behind a crate)**

Pilot #1: (is walking with Pilot #2) Hey…you know…the captain should really mellow out…

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Pilot #2: Yeah…I mean…it's not like he ran out of tea…right? 

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(Both sweatdrop and gulp at the thought of a berserk Cid without tea)

Pilot #1: Yeah…I guess you're right. At least we finally get a break!

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Pilot #2: YEAH!!! BREAK TIME!!!

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Aeris: (comes out of hiding and swings the lead pipe) Oh no you don't!!! YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!!!

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Pilot #1: Holy…

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Pilot #2: S**T!!!

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Aeris: "Holy" is right! I'M TAKING OVER THIS SHIP!!! **(swings the lead pipe towards Pilot #1)**

Pilot #1: GAAAAH!!!!! **(is hit in the head and is KO'd)**

Aeris: (laughs maniacally and swings the pipe at Pilot #2)

Pilot #2: MOMMY!!! **(is also hit in the head and gets KO'd)**

Aeris: (sweatdrops) Hmm…for master pilots, you'd think they'd AT LEAST have enough brains to…duck? Tsk…tsk…tsk…

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Pilot #1: (is out cold)

Pilot #2: (ditto)

Aeris: (drags the KO'd pilots into the occupied chocobo stable. After leaving the stable, disturbing cries can be heard coming from it)

????: WARK WARK WAAAAAAAARRRRK!!!!!

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Aeris: (sweatdrops and quietly sneaks into the cockpit)

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Cid: (finishes wiping all the bug stuff off the windshield) FINALLY!!! DONE!!!

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Aeris: (walks up behind Cid and hides the lead pipe behind her pipe) Oh Ciiiiiiiiiiid….

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Cid: (jumps, startled a bit, then turns around) DON'T F**KING DO THAT!!! Ahem….what the hell do you want?!

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Aeris: (thinks:_ Why don't you stop cussing for a change you old fart?! _**) **Um…I just wanted to tell you that there are discounts on you favorite kind of cigarettes and tea! **(smiles)**

Cid: (grins) Tea 'n cigarettes?!?! HOT DAMN!!!! I'M ON A GOOD %(*^&% STREAK HERE!!! Heh…be right back!!!

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Aeris: Okay!

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Cid: (runs out of the Highwind in such a big hurry he could be seen as a dusty tornado)

Aeris: Heehee.…I knew that would get him… **(grabs the wheel of the Highwind and starts to take off) **WHEEEEE!!!!!!!

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Cid: (is inside the store in Costa de Sol, pissed off)

Clerk: (sweatdrops) I'm sorry sir…but we don't even SELL tea or cigarettes…

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Cid: WHAT?!?!?! HOW COULD YOU NOT SELL ANY %)*&^#% TEA OR )*^$)(*&^% CIGARETTES?!?!?! WHAT KIND OF ^)*(&^#% STORE DO YOU ^)(*&^$% RUN HERE?!?!?! I OUGHTTA TAKE MY VENUS GOSPEL AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR CANDY @$$ YOU ^)&%^*$#(*&!!!!!!!!!

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Clerk: (sweatdrops) My candy…what?

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Cid: AWW FORGET IT!!! YOU'RE TOO %&)*&%^ STUPID TO KNOW WHAT THE HELL I MEAN!!! **(walks out of the store, pissed)**

Clerk: (is clueless and shouts out the door) HAVE A NICE DAY, SIR!!!

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Cid: (feels the place shaking and looks up to see the Highwind hovering in the air) WHAT…THE…F**K?!?!?!?!

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Aeris: (is enjoying herself) WHEEEE!!! IT'S TIME TO HAVE FUN!!! **(makes the Highwind move forward until it starts to fly away)**

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Cid: (looks at the Highwind to see it fly away) AAAAHHHH!!!! MY BABY!!! MY %(*&^% BABY IS GONE!!! AAAAHHHH!!!! **(screams like a little girl)**

Will Aeris get to have her fun? Will Cid find out why his precious baby flew away? Will the clerk actually get a brain? Will Cid scream like a girl all day? Will the author ever shut the hell up? Well, you'll have to wait and see in the next episode of, **_AERIS'S WILD FLIGHT_**!!!

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: Well? How'd you like it? This is just part of a sequel that practically took me months to make. Doesn't sound like much, but then again, I've had the WORST case of writer's block for a long time. I hope you liked this story so far! Comments can be sent to [**Cloud_S_@excite.com**][1]. If not…well, just R&R. Please??? I need all the support I can get right now…

   [1]: mailto:Cloud_S_@excite.com



	2. The Flight

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DISCLAIMER: How could I forget about the disclaimer??? I'M SUCH A BAKA!!! Anywayz…time to get it over with. FF7 and all of its characters do not belong to me because if they did, I would be a rich SOB swimming in a sea of beautiful green paper. Oh yeah…a few songs you might hear in this little chapter….THEY DON'T BELONG TO ME AT ALL!!!!! Now, without further ado, here's chapter two! Hey that rhymes! * kawaii grin* 

**__**

Aeris's Wild Flight

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(Last time we saw our maniacal hero…er….heroine, she had had stolen the Highwind I Costa de Sol. Now she's on an airborne killing spree without even realizing it)

Aeris: (enjoying the sight of squashed bugs on the windshield) Hey…neat! HAHAHAHA!!!!!

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Butterfly: (just flying away without a care in the world…)

Aeris: AGAIN!!!!! **(speeds up the Highwind and catches up to the unsuspecting insect)**

Butterfly: (flies right into the windshield making a loud 'SPLAT!')

Aeris: (laughs maniacally) Now THIS is living!!!

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Cid: (In Costa de Sol crying like a baby on the ground) MY BABY!!! MY BABY'S GONE!!!!! SHE'S GONE!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!

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Random person: …Your problem, old man…

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Cid: (stands up, looking furious) WHO YOU CALLIN' AN OLD MAN, YOU SON OF A SUBMARINER?!?!?!?

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Random person: (sweatdrops)

Cid: Aww…I lost my cuss!!! MY CUSS!!! MY BABY AND CUSS ARE GONE!!!

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Random person: …… **(walks away as if this never happened) **

Cid: WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Aeris: (has now completely wiped out every single moth, butterfly, and bird in the air, making a VERY big mess on the windshield) Crud!!!! How could this get so messy!!! Time to clean!

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Pilot #1: (is being…how shall I put this…put to good use by the chocobo in the stable)

Pilot #2: (ditto, only awaken while this happens) GAAAAAAAAH!!!!!

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Chocobo: (which is now named Boko) WARK!!!!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAARK!!!!!!!!

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Pilot #1 & 2: (wish they never messed with the sadistic flower girl)

Aeris: (turns the wheel and nosedives into the ocean near Round Island* ) CLEAN IS PEACHY KEEN!!!** (makes a big splash as the Highwind lands on the water, not sinking although it should)**

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(Meanwhile…back in Cloud's villa……)

Yuffie: (is in Cloud's room for a little materia hunting) Hee hee…I MUST have the Knights of the Round materia!!! 

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?????: (in the bathroom, turning on the water)

Yuffie: (sweatdrops) Oh no!!!! Someone's in here!!! **(sneaks out of the villa)**

?????: (is actually Cloud in the shower) Huh? **(peeks out the door, half naked) **…I thought I heard somebody here…eh…who cares? **(shrugs and goes back into the bathroom) **

Red XIII: (was asleep on the floor and raises an eyebrow) …Odd…

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Cloud: Gotta shower if I want attention!

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Red XIII: Oh no…no…not now…

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Cloud: (starts singing in the shower) Annie, you ok??? You ok??? You ok, Annie??? You've been hit by, you've been struck by, a SMOOTH CRIMINAL!!! **(has a big cheesy grin on his face) **

Red XIII: (sweatdrops) Oh please…stop the pain! **(covers his ears and whimpers)**

Cloud: (has moved on) IN THE END, IT DOESN'T EVEN MATTER!!!!

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Red XIII: (thinks, "_Someone put me out of my misery…_**" )**

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Aeris: (has sort of "cleaned" the windshield up by adding corpses of fish onto it) There! Much better!!! **(grins and starts flying away)**

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Sephiroth: (giving Jenova a piggyback ride while flying) OK, Mom! Time to pick out your birthday present! 

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Jenova: (makes slurping sounds)

Sephiroth: Oh Mom, you're so funny!!!

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Jenova: (sucks on air for a minute before waving its tentacles around) 

Sephiroth: Mom!!! How can you use that?! I don't think you have legs to use them anyway!

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Jenova: (growls before making more slurping noises)

Sephiroth: (looks almost disgusted) Fine…but I'm not helping you out with your soon-to-be-new pants…

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Jenova: (slaps Sephiroth with a tentacle and makes more slurping noises)

Sephioth: OW!!!!

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Aeris: (soaring in the air while laughing maniacally) MWAHAHA!!!! I LOVE THIS!!!!!

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Sephiroth: (flies in front of Aeris now) OH NO!!!! IT'S THE DEMON!!!!! **(hisses and makes a cross with his fingers) **

Aeris: SEPHIROTH!!!! I STILL OWE YOU FOR DOING WHAT YOU DID TO ME!!!!

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Sephiroth: (sweatdrops) Can't we talk about this?

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Jenova: (makes some more slurping noises and sucks air while getting a piggyback ride)

Aeris: AAAAAAH!!!!!!! IT'S THE REAL DEMON!!!!! DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! **(moves the Highwind and plows into Sephiroth and Jenova) **

Sephiroth: (gets wasted and falls into the ocean headfirst)

Jenova: (makes slurping noises before falling on top of Sephiroth, making a big splash)

AUTHOR'S NOTES: Maybe that explains its Aqualung techinique…or not….nevermind…ignore me…

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Aeris: (laughs maniacally and flies away)

Will Aeris ever come back sane? Will the Highwind come back in one piece? Has Cid really done the impossible by not cussing? Will Cloud ever stop singing? Will I stop talking? Find out in the next episode of Aeris's Wild Flight!!!

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* Many people already know this, but for those who don't, it's the island where you find the Knights of the Round materia.

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AUTHOR'S NOTES: How was that??? Hopefully I made SOMEBODY laugh. * shrugs* If you want, send your comments to me at **Cloud_S_@excite.com**. If not, then please R&R!!! This WILL be finished soon! I guarantee it!!! 


	3. The Light

Aeris's Wild Flight  
  
  
  
(We find Aeris flying through the air with the greatest of freakin' ease)  
  
  
  
Aeris: MWAHAHAHA!!!! I LOVE THIS!!!! (flies right into a swarm of bees)  
  
Bees: (buzz before making loud 'SPLAT's on the windshield)  
  
Aeris: Awww…now I have to clean it again!!! (does a nosedive into the ocean while mashing a few fish in the process) YAY!!! Now I'm squeaky clean!  
  
  
  
  
  
(Meanwhile in Cloud's villa…)  
  
  
  
Cloud: (comes out of the shower in a wet towel) Hey…something's not right here… (looks around) WHO'S IN HERE?!?!  
  
Red XIII: (has uncovered his ears) That would be me, you insignificant pile of pus.  
  
Cloud: Hey, that's not nice!  
  
Red XIIi: NEITHER IS YOUR SINGING, BUT I HAD TO LISTEN TO IT ANYWAY!!!! (mauls Cloud)  
  
Cloud: (is definitely KO'd) @.@  
  
Red XIII: I HAVE RULED YOU!!! (howls before running outside)  
  
Yuffie: (slowly walks in) Is…it safe? (looks around and finds a KO'd Cloud lying on the floor) Heehee…I've got it! (pulls out a black marker and writes "PROPERTY OF YUFFIE KISARAGI" on Cloud's chest) Heh…my spiky- haired slave will HAVE to give me his materia now!  
  
Cloud: (starts to stir) Ugh…I…see the light…  
  
Yuffie: Eh…better make it good, then I'm outta here! (draws a huge arrow under the sign that points down) Mwehe…might as well have that too while I'm at it! (runs out of the villa)  
  
Cloud: (shakes his head) Gah…that was not cool… (gets up and starts getting dressed, unknowing of his new 'owner')  
  
  
  
  
  
(Back to the Highwind)  
  
  
  
Aeris: THIS IS SO COOL!!! I GOTTA GO HIGHER, AND HIGHER INTO THE SUN!!! (steers the Highwind to move upwards) MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!  
  
Boko: (having his way with the pilots in the stable)  
  
Pilot #1: (is unknowingly raped of his pride and dignity) @.@  
  
Pilot #2: (is just plain raped) GAAAAAAH!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE, DAMN YOU!!!  
  
Aeris: (gasps) I see the light!!! It tells me too….HAVE FUN!!!! (speeds up the Highwind, nearly breaking the sound barrier) …gah…this is fuuuuUUUUUN!!!!!  
  
  
  
(The inside starts to get warped and hippy-like as Aeris moves faster)  
  
  
  
Aeris: Whoa…this is….FUN-KAY!!!  
  
Random 'spirit': Head towards the light…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'spirit': Head towards the light…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'spirit': Head towards the light…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'spirit': Head towards the light…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'spirit': Head towards the light…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'spirit': DAMN IT!!! STOP ACTING LIKE STONE COLD STEVE AUSTIN AND HEAD TOWARDS THE F**KING LIGHT!!!  
  
Aeris: …….What?  
  
Random 'spirit': That's it…you're stuck here!!!!  
  
Random 'ghost': Stuck here….until your doom…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'ghost': Stuck here….until your doom…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'spirit': …Oh…no…  
  
Random 'ghost': Stuck here….until your doom…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'ghost': Stuck here….until your doom…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'ghost': Stuck here….until your doom…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'ghost': Stuck here….until your doom…  
  
Aeris: What?  
  
Random 'ghost': STUCK HERE UNTIL YOUR FREAKIN' DOOM!!!  
  
Aeris: Hey…how come you don't cuss?  
  
Random 'ghost': Hey yeah… (looks at the spirit) How come I can't cuss?  
  
Random 'spirit': Um…er… (sweatdrops)  
  
Random 'ghost': Well???  
  
Random 'spirit': Look, we'll talk about this later!  
  
Random 'ghost': No! I wanna know now!!!  
  
Aeris: You know, for spectral beings, you guys aren't very scary…  
  
Random 'ghost': I'm not a guy!!!  
  
Aeris: … (sweatdrops)  
  
Random 'spirit': Can't we talk about this after we sent this skank back to "reality"?  
  
Random 'ghost': Grrr…fine…  
  
Aeris: Skank…? Skank?! SKANK!?!?!?!  
  
Random 'spirit': Holy crap…  
  
Random 'ghost': Send her back!!! Now!!!  
  
Aeris: I'm not a skank!!!! (Casts Seal Evil on the spirit and ghost)  
  
G & S: (are frozen in place for all eternity, not that it matters)  
  
Aeris: (snaps back to reality and shakes her head) ………..that……was weird…. Anyways, time to have some more fun!!! MWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! (speeds up the Highwind and flies away)  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
Will Aeris ever return to being the sweet flower girl she used to be? Will she bring the Highwind back in one piece? And what of Cloud, who seems to have been branded as Yuffie's little love slave? Tune in to the next episode of Aeris's Wild Flight!!!  
  
  
  
AUTHOR'S NOTES: Alright, you know the drill… Please R&R!!! Ooo…don't forget about this little e-mail if you wanna comment on this! Cloud_S_@excite.com. PLEASE R&R!!!!! 


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